Sacrifices and spirituality

Religion is cultural mythology. Spirituality is self awareness. They have nothing in common.–Deepak Chopra (from Facebook)

 

I’ve been reading a little about numerology lately.  I’ve been drawn to it for a long time, and dabbled in it years ago.  Earlier this year I was reminded about numerology and started to read and figure more deeply.  I’m far far far from an expert, but the things I have been reading have been scarily accurate for Martin and I.

In short, there’s a nine-year cycle that we go through over and over again in our lives.  You find out what year you are in in this cycle by adding your birth month and date to the current year, then continue adding until the sum is reduced to a single digit.  Martin is in a nine year, which basically means that he’s in a year for purging from his life things that no longer serve him (like his job, maybe???) and I’m in a seven year.

The seven year is about sacrifices and spiritual growth.  When I first read about this several months ago, I didn’t really resonate with this much.  Sacrifices?  Like what?  And I’m uncomfortable with the term–too many Biblical connotations.  I’m pretty uncomfortable with this. I don’t want to think of myself as sacrificing.  It sounds overdramatic.  And I wondered, uneasily, what “sacrifices would be required of me.

But now I know.  And I have made them.  And I am keenly feeling the sacrifices that have been made.  In some ways I feel like they have broken me open and exposed parts of me that are raw and tender, but are beautiful and sensitive as well.

Recently I was sitting and waiting, and I popped open the Kindle app on my phone and it opened to my favorite numerology book, called The Complete Book of Numerology, by David A. Phillips.  The Kindle edition is about a dollar.  Well worth the read.

It opened to the page where the author is detailing, month by month, what will tend to occur for you in your seven year.  This is what I read:

June in Personal Year 7:

When one door closes, look for the one (or maybe two) that opens.  But don’t rush in (leave that to the fools).  Develop creative patience, take your time and consider all aspects before making your move, for the best might be somewhat camouflaged yet worthy of investigation.

If you’ve been reading this blog, this should make sense to you.  June first was the closing of a door.  It was not my door, but it closed for me nonetheless.  And so…we went camping. Instead of rushing in and trying to fix the situation the usual way (by finding another job), we got creative and took our time.

July in Personal Year 7:

Many things you have been reluctant to surrender until now could become forfeited as your path is cleared of limitations to your growth.  The loss will hurt, but the sacrifices are worth it.  If the opportunity for teaching occurs, throw yourself into it with enthusiasm and be prepared for success.

It was in July that the plans for South Africa were first laid.  It was in July that it was decided that we would move out of our loft, that our daughter would move out, that we would embark on the path that we are now following.  We weren’t necessarily feeling the sacrifices yet, but the groundwork was being laid.

August in Personal Year 7:

Now you begin to understand the reasons for those sacrifices, if you have not already.  Your philosophic awareness has brought you much wisdom to employ in sound decision-making when it comes to shaping your independence.

This hit me like a ton of bricks, and the tears began to flow.  I feel like I do understand the reasons for the sacrifices that are being made.  I am feeling, like I said before, broken open and ready to be used for the purposes that the Universe has for me.  I don’t think I was ready before.  I have sacrificed.  And I don’t say this to say, “look at me, look at how wonderful I am”, I’m not trying to be a martyr, I’m not trying to point to myself as some paragon or as someone that anyone should try to emulate.  The very thought makes me uncomfortable.

But, sacrifices have occurred.  I am engulfed by losses of one sort or another.  I point this out to honor those sacrifices.  Not to honor me, but to honor the things that might have been and the importance of giving them up in order for something else to occur.  This feels momentous.

I don’t know how much I can measure my spiritual growth as a result of these losses, these changes, these sacrifices.  But I think I do feel it happening.  I have softened.  I think I’m more compassionate, more loving, more gentle.

Just to round out the year:

September in Personal Year 7:

Change is in the air.  You can feel life become lighter as a newfound wisdom re-energizes your confidence.  Your life will respond with improved happiness, peace and security.  But if you continue to fight your High Self, sacrifices will certainly continue.

 

October in Personal Year 7:

An enhanced self-confidence attends your efforts as your finances and health improve, so long as you have thoroughly surrendered all unwanted baggage on your journey along the Path.

 

November in Personal Year 7:

With greater confidence in your intuition, your wise decisions attract improved results as you grow in independence.  If only you could have achieved this level of understanding without all that sacrifice.  Maybe you will remember for the next cycle eight years from now.

 

December in Personal Year 7:

Plans should now be afoot to develop new ideas, some of which you have been patiently contemplating since June.  Go for it!  A great year is coming up and leading into a powerful growth cycle.

It sounds hopeful, doesn’t it?  I am filled with hope that all of this change and loss and giving up will result in a beautiful flowering.  I am looking forward to it.

And I’m grateful, once again, for the signs that the Universe appears to be sending me that yes, we’re on the right path.  I keep asking, and the Universe keeps providing.  I am in deep gratitude.

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