I’m brokenhearted about leaving this loft. It’s so beautiful and I have enjoyed being here. Even after two years I am still so in love with it. I will be really sad to see our time here end. I’ve enjoyed every day we were here. I just have to remember, “I got to have that,” and let it be.
It’s okay for things to end. We don’t want to think of letting things go, especially things that we love. But it’s how things go. It’s okay, or it will be, anyway, even if it’s really NOT okay right at this moment. This is me telling myself, because there are times when I don’t believe a whit of it.
I can always remember that I got to have that. I got to have the amazing penthouse loft of my dreams. The fact that the dream is ending doesn’t take away the fact that I had it, that I enjoyed it, that I reveled in it, in fact. No, they can’t take that away from me.
“We may never, never meet again
On the bumpy road to love
Still, I’ll always, always keep the memory of
The way you hold your knife
The way we danced till three
The way you changed my life
No, no, they can’t take that away from me”
I know, I know, there are bigger issues in life. I’m quoting love songs about my loft. I’m spoiled. Or I may finally, really be losing it.
But it’s okay to grieve this.
A friend asked me, “What about your lifestyle? Won’t you miss all this?” And I have to say that yes, the lifestyle was great. I loved living in our loft, I loved going out to eat and having all the toys. But in reality, the lifestyle is not what it’s all about. The lifestyle doesn’t make you happy. What makes me happy is being together with Martin, and knowing I’m on the path I’m supposed to be on. That feeling beats going out to dinner at the fanciest restaurants, having the nicest car, the latest i-Something or living in the most stupendous home.
Even when I’m sad, as I am right now, I can lean on the knowledge that we’re doing the right thing. And even as devastated as I feel sometimes, they’re only feelings. It will be okay. It will be okay. Say it with me. It will be okay.
We are lucky. We got to have that. And now, we get to have something different. I don’t know what yet. I’ll let you know when I do. Until then, one foot in front of the other.